Your Child Deserves More Than a Meal Plan. This Is Eating Disorder Prevention.

Dr. Wendy: If you have ever caught yourself about your child's weight, ⁓ eating habits, their body, their health, ⁓ future, ⁓ you felt that whole swirl starting up of like, what the hell am I doing here? Am I even doing it right? Well, you're at the right place at exactly the right time. ⁓ because there's something broken, not because something needs to be fixed, but because there's something that's about to be very ⁓ Different. I'm glad you're here with me. ⁓ my gosh. ⁓ So we aren't acquainted yet, hi. I'm Dr. Wendy Schaufer. ⁓ I the pediatrician helping entire families ⁓ create relationships with food, body, and especially each other. Y'all, this is eating disorder prevention. ⁓ And really in an ⁓ age this is so very needed, ⁓ where are growing up ⁓ in body. Focused world. And so today we're gonna start back at the very beginning, quite honestly, because a whole bunch of you are just now discovering family and focus. And I want to make sure that we've got a really solid foundation. parent just like you discovers me. Well, I maybe it's on the Tiki Talk, ⁓ it's on YouTube, ⁓ socials, a referral from their physician, or in one case, ⁓ while ⁓ Instagram feeds with a new friend on an airline? Yeah, totally true story. But you're a parent and you come and you're just exhausted. You're worried. You've tried everything. you've tried hiding the snacks. You've tried letting it be free for all. ⁓ tried counting the servings. Doing the whole thing about, you know, like just two more bites. ⁓ You've read all the articles, all the books, and bought that fancy pants bento box. You're like, how the heck do I clean this in my dishwasher? Yeah, got that. So and still you're finding yourself saying some version of, I'm doing all of this, and it's still not working. What am I missing? my kid is still growing too fast or eating too much ⁓ too fast. I'm worried about their relationships with food. And by the way, relationship is strained now. And you may very well still be reeling from the shame, the restriction, the strained relationships that you've had with your own food and body your whole life. So I get it. I I really do. because ⁓ been there myself, you know, in my own home, in my own kitchen, ⁓ ⁓ own experiences and relationship with my body. So within and focus, this isn't about a lecture. ⁓ Welcome to Family in Focus. I'm Dr. Wendy Schofer, the pediatrician helping parents lead meaningful change without harm. Here we focus on the connection and practical shifts help families thrive at every size. Let's get started. This is most definitely not some kind of like insta-perfection AI-generated BS where you're like, ⁓ this is what I strive for. ⁓ my God. No, none of that. This is real. This is changes ⁓ real families. And I'm a pediatrician. I've been in practice for well over 20 years. I've been parenting for well over 20 years. ⁓ And Say enough to all of these stories that I've experienced that I've also heard of parents who feel like they're failing their children when we find wrappers ⁓ away, when we see our children's growth curves, when we see how our children are eating and developing, and we're like, what's going on here? And ⁓ I'm gonna acknowledge that my kids will be the first to tell you that I am not perfect. Not by any stretch of the imagination. I have not done this perfect perfectly. No, not at all. And yet. It's about creating the changes that we want for our families to heal. ⁓ what I've been practicing, and that's what I'm sharing here. For families to be able to heal and to build stronger relationships and be able to share that with our own families and then with others that we love. ⁓ That's what Family and Focus was born of. So ⁓ I wanna just slow this down for a minute and kind of look at the patterns. And that that's really what I'm noticing over and over again. It's a pattern. All our parental efforts, all of the trying, all of the things that we're trying to do for our kids, it's all pointed at the food, the portions, the behavior. So like trying to get them off the couch, off the screens. And ⁓ meanwhile, thing builds healthy habits ⁓ is really missed entirely. Because here's what your child actually needs. your child actually needs. And remarkably does not focus ⁓ on number on the scale. If you have found yourself judging your health or the progress that you're making based on the number on the scale, or maybe like the the size of your genes from 20 years ago that you're like, ⁓ I want to be back there. Well, you know that focus, it it doesn't just linger. ⁓ really becomes a companion voice, one that's just kind of like living between your ears all the time. ⁓ I call that. the voice of weight noise. ⁓ may have very well heard about food noise, ⁓ I think we also have to ⁓ the amount of dialogue or noise that we have about our weight. And what really doing here is calling it out. Calling out that there's so much focus ⁓ on body, ⁓ on scale, ⁓ so ⁓ noise About our bodies and our weight, that we need to turn that down. We need to turn it down so that we can actually turn up the voices that we want to hear of belonging, of becoming, of growth and and learning as we're continuing to grow together. So you're a parent who doesn't want to repeat the shame and the restriction that you grew up with. And maybe you're finding that you're using some ineffective tools right now. They sound like all the eat less, move more, focus on everything that your child does kind of approach. Yeah, not effective. want to create stronger relationships with food and body. yet nobody is really ⁓ focusing what that actually means, let alone how to do it. So That's why I want to welcome you to Family and Focus. This is eating disorder prevention in a world that is all about telling us that we need to change in order to fit in, to belong, and to, big air quotes here, be healthy. let's be honest: what we really need ⁓ to change our approach to ⁓ one relationship, one emotional skill ⁓ a time. So that's what we're going to be doing here. We're going to be Building social emotional skills. We're gonna be really understanding stress and coping strategies for you as a parent first. First, I know you're worried about your child. You'll do anything to help your child. And it first comes down making sure that you have the skills that you need for yourself, ⁓ then that is what benefits. Ripples out to your children so that they can benefit. let's be honest, I mean, ⁓ can all really benefit from some good stress relief. But we've also been practicing a ⁓ ⁓ strategies that are based in diet culture and simply not working anymore. So now it's time to change the approach for you and for your child. if you're like, yeah, hey, ⁓ I'm really just concerned about my kid. Thank you very much. I'm not the one that needs help. It's my kid. Okay. You're in the right place too. ⁓ again, if we're gonna be honest, everyone has been telling you how to change their portions, their access to food, their movement, and it is not working. Your kid isn't the problem. Their body is not the problem. The approaches. changing the approach means starting with you. So ⁓ am so very glad you are here. you're hear a lot of talk about experiments ⁓ within all work that we do together here within Family and Focus. ⁓ And so want to offer you your first experiment. ⁓ It is simple, it's practically done already. Are you ready? If you were the only one who believed your child is whole and perfect as they are right now, would you speak up and let them know it? Do it today. Like let them know how you see them and you love them as they are. That's it. There's no additional plans, it's just one sentence to your kid. And this is really where the whole thing starts. It could be a heartfelt, I love you. ⁓ make my world better. Or as I honestly just said just a few minutes ago. I may have shouted it. You have got to take that amazing energy of yours out of here, out of my house right now, and go enjoy it outside. Hey, listen, there's no perfect words here. ⁓ and we're not trying to find some kind of like unicorn, you know, fake kind of world. We're just trying to keep this real and finding a way to be able to say to your child, I see you and you are a maze balls, kiddo, like Totally I love you as you are. that there is no need to comment on bodies, portions, shapes, or even changes. ⁓ can be the one, the one person who ⁓ your child exactly ⁓ they are. and even if they can take that amazing energy and volume. outside for a bit for my own sanity. Again, keeping it real. So this is the home base. Th this is where we start and it's where you can always come back to. Finding what works, finding what it is that we want to create more of. we're gonna be making that connection and relationship real and tangible for you and your family. So it's not just about focusing on the scale and the perfect plans. ⁓ We're on relationships. ⁓ Your ⁓ gets feel like they belong exactly as they are. Exactly as they are. And you get to be the one who tells them so. You get to be the one who sees them and lets them be and feel seen. that's creating change without harm. ⁓ is where it all starts because we're focusing on the relationship. ⁓ this is the movement that we're creating ⁓ family at a time. And you've already started it here today. So again, here's your one small step. And it it's the same as your experiment because I I really mean it. I really mean it. So today, just share with your child how you see them. Let them know that you love them as they are right now, here today. And share with me. Share with me. I love hearing from you. ⁓ how is your child ⁓ right now? Leave a comment ⁓ ⁓ check out my email. It's in the show notes ⁓ send it on over to me. ⁓ read every one. This is something where we get to build a dialogue together. We're building a relationship here too. So if you're listening and realizing that you want ⁓ now, ⁓ well, is how to keep on going. this exactly why family and focus exists, so that you can continue ⁓ to apply all of this learning and teaching in ⁓ unique home, your unique life. Let's make it work you. This isn't some plan off a shelf. ⁓ This is something that needs to be tailored to you. So check out the show notes and learn so much more about how we can work together. please remember ⁓ I'm a doctor, I am most definitely not your doctor. ⁓ this podcast is for education, ⁓ medical advice. ⁓ ⁓ what fits, ⁓ what doesn't, ⁓ be gentle with yourself ⁓ you lead change without harm for your family.