Why “Just Tell Us What to Eat” Isn’t Working

Dr. Wendy: let's talk about, the biggest misconception about changing your child's weight and habits. The biggest one. this is the question that parents are asking, well, honestly, they're telling me all the time. tell us what to eat. Tell us what to change, ⁓ how to feed our kid, how to cook. And I need you to hear me loud and clear. The problem, it's not about needing someone to tell you how to eat, what to change. Families that I work with, either, first of all, already know what needs to change. It's not about me coming in and telling you. Or they're running around ragged with doing, serving, all the right things. That's in big air quotes there. All the right things. And it's not producing the results that they want. be we've been told within our culture that you need to keep focusing on the food. ⁓ So consider this when we are looking for once again the air quotes the right answer of how to cook how to eat we run ourselves ragged with you know going to different consults with dietitians by the way dietitians are fabulous. But we're running all around looking for the right answers. Then we go to nutritionists and meal plans and recipes and everyone from Aunt Sue, hi to my own Aunt Sue, to Joe Bro Blow 294 on YouTube and all the different online forums. And they're all piping in about their one best way to eat and what exactly it is that you need to change. Well, then you're exactly where you are right now looking and over again for what needs to change. So are the three ⁓ reasons why is going wrong. ⁓ So of all, ⁓ number one, there no one right way eat. There is no ⁓ one diet that rules them And there's a lot of evidence for a lot of different ways of eating to be healthy, to create health outcomes that you want. And while there are definitely some parts that you may want to beg, borrow and steal from these different approaches to eating and use them in your household. Well, to be honest with you, there's a reason why you're not already doing that in your household and it's not education. If you want to see change in your child's eating habits without pressure, constant mealtime battles, or the shame you grew up with, you're in the right place. Welcome to Family in Focus. I'm Dr. Wendy Schofer, the pediatrician helping parents lead meaningful change without harm. Here we focus on the connection and practical shifts that help families thrive at every size. Let's get started. two. There's a reason why you eat the way you eat right now. Let's be honest, we have developed habits. We have developed habits around the foods that we choose, how we eat them, when we eat them, why we eat them. And if we don't understand why we're doing what it is that we're doing right now, if we're not understanding how that is the easy, the convenient, the practice that we have had over and over again, AKA our habits, don't understand why we're doing that, just coming in and saying you need to eat differently isn't getting to the heart of why we do it in the first place, why it makes sense, and how often the reason that we eat right now is often a coping strategy. It's a coping mechanism. Well, we need to know what it is that we're coping with. It's not about the food. It's about the rest of our life. And number three, it's not your is Remember here that I'm talking about diet simply as a way of eating, not about some kind of change or restriction. So I have families coming to me sharing all of the wonderful things that are already happening in their diets, their ways of eating, the time that they spend together, the way that they're enjoying meals and food, and again, time together. the composition of their meals. And they still want me to tell them what to eat or how to do things differently. It's not about the food. So yes, I am an expert in nutrition. I have honed it over 22 years of practice. And It's time that we have a much more detailed discussion about what is actually happening in your home. Yes, about meals, but also about why you're concerned, perhaps about eating habits, perhaps about weight, and to pause there without diving into creating changes, without first understanding, one, what is already happening, two, the good things that are already They're already happening in your household. We cannot just keep on creating changes without holding on to the things that are good. This is how we truly begin to create change without harm. It starts with us. It starts with us not listening to all of those messages about how everything needs to be changed and we need to focus on the food and the weight. It starts with us as parents saying, no, there's something more here. If you're ready to learn more, join me at wendyshoformd.com to learn more about I help families just like yours within my Family in Focus programs. ⁓ And in the meanwhile, remember, ⁓ while I'm a physician, I am most definitely not your This is not medical advice. your physician for optimal care and please tell them that I said hi. ⁓ Take what fits, leave the rest, and remember, you are the parent leading the change that you want to see in your home. It is my honor to be here with you.