The Kindness Your Child Needs Starts With You

Dr. Wendy: Welcome everyone. I am so glad you're here with me. So if you've been around with Family Focus for a hot minute, you may heard lot of my voice. ⁓ So ⁓ today we're gonna be mixing it up a little bit. And this is really my gosh, so ⁓ meaningful to me because ⁓ are things that I love. I love connection. I love coffee and ⁓ love having conversations with my bestest friends in all the world. And I have one of them here today to honestly just out and we're gonna weave things together. ⁓ So I would like welcome my dear friend Dr. Faryal Michaud. And she is a palliative care physician. is ⁓ amazing coach. She is a dear friend. ⁓ ⁓ ⁓ ⁓ my gosh, I I I should have written all this out a little bit more. ⁓ she ⁓ the woman behind physicians living intentionally. And so ⁓ gonna have some conversations here today. that gosh, are so meaningful to my ⁓ so meaningful in my world. But I wanna be able to share that because she is ⁓ a wonderful person. So Faryal, thank you for joining me at some crazy early time in Hawaii right now.

Dr. Faryal: you, Wendy. It was an absolute, absolute pleasure to be here. And ⁓ I love that you didn't have anything in writing because every time somebody does that for me, ⁓ always feel like they're talking about somebody else. So I know you know me as a person first and ⁓ a friend. So ⁓ is a pleasure to have coffee with you and have a connection ⁓ really dive in what matters, which is exactly connection above all, and part physicians living intentionally is Having connection to yourself. And I'm hoping that we get to dive into that a little bit. Thanks for creating this space and having me in it. Thank you.

Dr. Wendy: Okay, my heart is beating so much right now. I think it's ⁓ I mean, let's be honest, anytime we're in the same space I'm hearing it's like I'm hearing my words out of your mouth. Like, how is it that we have the same language? ⁓ I think that that's one of the big things that just it draws me to you so very much because I'm like, ⁓ are taking the same beautiful principles and using them in your own unique world.

Dr. Faryal: Yeah, you know, I I appreciate that because I think a little background, ⁓ you did share that I'm a palliative care physician and also that I live in Hawaii. I'm a parent to two teenage girls and I the space of physicians living intentionally. It was right around COVID and it was twenty twenty ⁓ and were all very isolated ⁓ at same time I feel like staggered and aimless and really not knowing how to anchor yourself. So I came up with some ideas. I I I grew up in Japan. I have some in Eastern philosophy and and and I thought using that as tapestry ⁓ with the recognition ⁓ at any time we have our face and or a veil pressed against death and dying. do we ⁓ super with our life, whatever chapter it is in right now? And how we really appreciate the life we're living ⁓ in a and I think a of it actually came from parenting and ⁓ my ⁓ disconnect that as a physician when I was at work, I was thinking I was not there at home for my kids. And when I was at home I felt like I wasn't present at work. like I should have been more ⁓ things up or what have you. ⁓ the physician living intentionally came a lot ⁓ the space of ⁓ wanting to be present for my children. I have a story that if you know your your audience has heard me hear this on a talk, I apologize ⁓ like a broken record. ⁓ my kids were little, ⁓ I'm talking five and three, I to go to public library, Wendy, and we would ⁓ check out the girls would put whatever book they wanted. And ⁓ on it a night that they would all sleep in our bed. And they would pick the books that they wanted to. And so I remember my one asking, can night when we were reading, ⁓ can be the kings and queens of anything we want to be? And I Yeah, absolutely. You know, we all live our stories and you could be anything. And ⁓ and I and they paused and they said, you know, Dad is a king of windsurfing. Like they paused and they looked at each other. And then n ⁓ older daughter is a queen ⁓ they both said reading. ⁓ the younger daughter they said she's a queen ⁓ ⁓ And then they said mom is a queen of and there was this long pause and they both said working. And I was it was actually very jarring because ⁓ Here I was er doing everything I could in my day-to-day life to be present for them. the image they had of me as was this woman that was working all the time. And I you this long story by saying that physician living intentionally came from a place of me wanting to be super present in my life. ⁓ And in chapter of my life, almost six years ago, being a parent to teenage girls. was front and center. then, living intentionally has continued to mean ⁓ for me, ⁓ is first and foremost what it's mattering to me in this chapter of my life is being present as a parent to them. so being to this coffee and connection conversation, where we are gonna talk about physicians living intentionally, I am hoping that ⁓ Your audience can pause and reflect on what does living intentionally mean to them in this chapter of their life?

Dr. Wendy: ⁓ my gosh. you know, is really powerful. And let's be honest, ⁓ ⁓ is ⁓ ⁓ much bigger than, you know, physicians doing. It's like, how do we how do we live intentionally in our our day-to-day? And what hearing is that there's so much more than it it's not about the physician. It's about me. It's about me as ⁓ a parent but also just like embracing all the different aspects of my life. Like how do I do that intentionally? And I'm struck by how, ⁓ know, you go back to like COVID, and I'm like, ⁓ yeah, that's where all of my stuff was, you know, really accelerated. Like I'd had, ⁓ know

Dr. Faryal: Mm.

Dr. Wendy: these kind of, you know, things going on for quite some time where I was like, you know, I'm practicing in a way that is not consistent with how I want to live, how I want to practice, how I want to be able to help families, but also my own family that was getting the scraps at home. I was just so strung out with pouring so much into work. then when I get home I'm like, I got nothing left in the tank. And it showed. It showed with them. ⁓

Dr. Faryal: Mm-hmm.

Dr. Wendy: I felt that. And so I I hear that ⁓ going through those periods. I mean I had to go through that to get here. I had to go through that that pain ⁓ taught me so much about How I wanted so much more for me and and for my family.

Dr. Faryal: Mm.

Dr. Wendy: Yeah. Like there is so much more there for us than just being the queen of work. Not that there's anything wrong with that by the way. I mean you rock that crown. Like you you totally can rock that crown.

Dr. Faryal: Mm-hmm. No, I love that. And you know, a and and I do say physicians living intentionally a lot, but as you know, I mean I I I coach people of all walks of life and a palliative care physician, I coach people ⁓ You know, I I do manage people's symptoms associated with their disease, the burden of their disease, the burden of the treatment of their of my patients are stage three and four cancer patients. And I feel like the the the bulk of my work is giving people pause and reflection to ⁓ give brain their thoughts equal air time to that ⁓ are supportive thoughts. ⁓ I think that learning to be kind to yourself. I think even that story that I say of me queen being queen of working was jarring. But know, if I'm being honest and if I'm being kind to myself, I was ⁓ creating life for my husband to go windsurfing because he was in medical school. Like I was working and putting him through medical school. and working and putting my daughter in swim team, and spending amount hours with my five year old who was an avid reader already at that age. ⁓ So I think that when retell our story about ourselves and our lives, I'm hoping that living intentionally for all of us means how can I be kind to myself? When I'm retelling my whatever version of story I'm telling myself.

Dr. Wendy: Yeah, I that like very close here. yeah, because there so many places that we've had ⁓ growth. You know, you know, that place where you hit the wall. It I I remember you saying something at some point in time about like ⁓ running home with hair on fire. Like it ⁓ and again, that out to me because I was like, ⁓ she's using my words like I say that too. those moments where running around with my hair on fire There's a reason why I did that. How can I look at that with kindness? what is it that I've you know, how I've learned and ⁓ grown ⁓ then? Because I think the other thing that I'm hearing is that how much this is the type of conversation ⁓ we can have with our kids as getting Like how much can they give the with equal airtime to the other side. we've got so much of that, you know, negative conversation coming up right now. There's a lot of things that we're struggling with. ⁓ yet, what's the other side?

Dr. Faryal: and I think that's really beautiful and that's very powerful as a parent because I think whether we like it or not, the way we see ourselves, the at which we analyze ourselves Whether we like it or not, it sort of reflect upon it upon our children. So I had a conversation about being kind to yourself with my older daughter who's visiting from college yesterday, and she was asking me, like, what does that even mean? You know, and and I think how do we gift that of all the way we parent, ⁓ can parent our young adult children. And teaching them what it means to have compassion, what it means to be kind to yourself, and really put it in a very granular way, like really being kind to yourself, be kind to your mind. You always hear these bumper sticker statements ⁓ mindfulness arena, but what does that really mean? And so think what is the value of this conversation ⁓ is know that unless we can really ⁓ verbalize for our ourselves, unless we can know how can we be kind to ourselves, it's impossible trying to teach it to somebody else.

Dr. Wendy: That getting granular sound it with them sounds like first figuring that out for ourselves.

Dr. Faryal: Absolutely. Absolutely. And it's easier said than done, right? Like I can coach people on a lot of different things, but when I have to turn them like they say, turn the light in as Buddhists say, it's not easy. It's not easy. I can coach someone with my issue very easily, but trying to put the hat back on ⁓ trying to coach myself. It's it's a very ⁓ challenging way of being, but at the same time, i how can I be kind to myself? ⁓ is challenging, realizing ⁓ is ⁓ of life, and how do we make peace with that? How do we ⁓ the concept of allowing, right? Allow myself to ⁓ wrong, allow myself to have made mistakes with my kids, allow to ⁓ realize that any given day I can start over again and as long as we're breathing, there's more right with us than is wrong with us. So how can we leverage that absolute truth to navigate through life, parenthood, marriage, next day? so that's sort of I'm interested in us talking about that and hearing your thoughts on that too. ⁓

Dr. Wendy: ⁓ my goodness. what what you're talking about is like where where it goes from us talking about connection and then actually like that with our kids. Like ⁓ how do we ⁓ really help parents? ⁓ helping ourselves be able to create the connection that we want to live and share, you know, in our homes. I'm I'm hearing you, you know, talking about how there's you know the the growth that you've had over time, the the the pain, the wanting to share and be granular with kids. And yet the word that sticks out to me is kindness. Teaching them about being kind by first doing that for yourself. My brain automatically wants to say, That's hard. Like I'm not used to that.

Dr. Faryal: Yeah, and I think I I think I think as women, you know, I'm sure all people are are could be listening to this, ⁓ the the cruel part of nature ⁓ that ⁓ we're getting to menopause and our hormones are going haywire, oftentimes we're with kids whose hormones are going haywire. So it's it's it's almost impossible. It's almost like two people and I'm originally from Iran. English is not my first language. I've grown up speaking a da language that isn't mine. But I I feel like with women hitting menopause and girls if you have daughters Or boys too, that hormonal asymmetry or absolute chaos. It's a lot to ask for. We're speaking different languages. We can't be kind to ourselves and we are expected to c act kind to people around us where know, the elevator isn't going all the way up. And there's a lot. There's a lot of, ⁓ you juggling, right? There's a lot of juggling emotions, juggling You know, what does being kind to me look like in a vacuum? Like forget everybody else in my life that I'm ⁓ trying have this dance with at home. ⁓ But does being kind to me look like? What is what is missing a hot yoga class in the morning mean to me ⁓ if my life I have measured myself with a stick of productivity ⁓ and it to itness? ⁓ Like does that look like? ⁓ So think a lot of this is relearning what Any of the goals and the gold stickers we've had for ourselves now in this chapter. You ⁓ there's these memes and all these funny things about ⁓ how parented your kid and how you grandparent your ⁓ grandchild. a of it I think is you have space, have actual space. ⁓ And you are not playing whack-a-mole with your own life. ⁓ can hold space for a screaming child as a grandparent, but as a young mother, as someone who's going through so much, ⁓ just harder. So I'm only saying that for anyone to reflect on the fact that what doing is hard. and at the same time, the only way you can navigate the heart is allowing yourself to be human, ⁓ yourself to make mistakes. Know no one wakes up in the morning and says ⁓ I wanna be hard on my kids, I wanna be hard on myself. We all mean well, but we don't always have the right tools and sentences mental mindset to be present in our lives.

Dr. Wendy: That aspect of speaking different languages. I gotta tell you, when I was originally thinking, like, how would I introduce you? I was like, okay, and here's Farrell, the most cosmopolitan friend I know. you have so many different connections and threads, and just like ⁓ ⁓ I never know where I'm gonna find you, like anywhere in the world. And as you were talking about acceptance. ⁓ It took me back to a lovely trip to Hawaii. And I want to make sure that I'm getting it straight because you were teaching I think it was ⁓ the word acceptance. ⁓ ⁓ you care sharing? Because it meant so much as far as ⁓ translation into Farsi or from Farsi, please. You you can tell the story much better than me.

Dr. Faryal: Absolutely, absolutely. I love that lesson. You know, I have to say, you coach or parent or teach anybody, ⁓ always wanna say, How can I get my point across in a way that ⁓ home? And a of the teaching or the coaching or what have you comes from a My belief that ticket to salvation ⁓ and peacefulness is is mindfulness and ⁓ the state that we're in, like acceptance. How much do we talk about? Whether it's 12-step program ⁓ whether it's e cartoli or whether it's anything. We always talk or grief, we always talk about acceptance. ⁓ when I was trying to teach people the concept of acceptance, ⁓ just realized that The way the word acceptance actually sits with me as a human, there's a little bit of begrudgingness, you know, like your fate. Like it is what it is. Like that doesn't sound good. ⁓ I don't want it is what it is. That just sounds like ⁓ am accepting something that I really don't want to. Like almost like ⁓ for second best or ⁓ guess this is a good place. Like ⁓ doesn't feel good. So how can you quote unquote ⁓ ⁓ Open arms, be there for a feeling that is second best. So I was thinking, what is acceptance? How do we say acceptance in Farsi? Because what the power of different languages ⁓ come ⁓ And word acceptance in Farsi is Pazirish. Pazirish, literally, if I have to translate Pazirish into English, ⁓ is welcoming. So if you think about an acceptance letter to your favorite school or program, letter is not begrudgingly, like they welcome So what we thought about acceptance, acceptance ⁓ of flaws, you think your flaws are. If you don't like the body you're in, if you don't like the sound of your voice, ⁓ if you don't your habits, it is that makes you ⁓ human, the imperfectly perfect human that you are. How you accept that that it's not begrudgingly? And then I thought, what if I welcomed What if I welcomed the sound of my voice? What if I welcome that if you wanna see my house, me a day's notice. If you wanna see me, show up anytime. How I accept who I how can I welcome people in my space without constantly seeing myself my life from the lens of being judged? And that acceptance is just welcoming. The it is what it is becomes this is who I am.

Dr. Wendy: Okay, so I am practicing the word passi resh over and over again in my head, like trying so badly. I am trying to like really take that like copy and paste into working with kids because let's be honest, they're speaking a completely different language. I mean, and I'm not talking about that gen whatever cap whatever thing that they're ⁓ I can't even do it. But welcoming That acceptance of yeah, this is what it is right now, in the sense of I'm welcoming whatever they are putting out there. Like i in an in another way of hearing that, that acceptance, that welcoming, I'm hearing receiving.

Dr. Faryal: Mm.

Dr. Wendy: And there's a whole lot to receive right now. Like it's just nonstop. And yet like I keep on trying to bring that back to, okay, our kids are speaking a different language. How can I Passy Rush. Okay, there you go, but how can I accept? How can I welcome that? And I'm putting this out there because these are questions that I keep on spinning over me as I'm like receiving all of the emotions like yesterday was a fun day with, you know, adult kids and receiving all the different things. All the different things that I was like, ⁓ why can't you just speak my language? Why can't I just teach you how to do this? And it's like, no, just accept, just welcome. This is what they're experiencing right now. And I think that's the thing is you're talking about being intentional, like just receiving it. This is where we are right now. ⁓

Dr. Faryal: And I do want to say again, it's easier said than done. want to give you an example and see if audience can, you know, reflect on this and see if this is something that could have happened. ⁓ There a tense moment ⁓ in the elevator with one my daughters, ⁓ I can about, it's a couple years ago. And just the of it.

Dr. Wendy: Yeah.

Dr. Faryal: to set the stage is that there was this moment of just tension. We weren't talking to each other. We were going to a place that she didn't want to go to. I parenting her to go to this place. And as we're the ⁓ she asked me, she's like, what time is it? And our appointment was at o'clock, right? And I said it's ten till. and then she said, why do always tail a time like this? ⁓ And I said, what do you mean? And she said, Why don't you just say 1250? What does 10 till mean? my gosh, Wendy, that question set me off. And thought followed me, the elevator door opened, she went to her appointment, ⁓ and all the was like, ⁓ I can do nothing right. Then opens her mouth to judge me. She opens her mouth, nothing positive comes out of her mouth. I can't do nothing right. And here I am, I was like in the middle of seven things to make her get to this appointment. And then on reflection, it was conversation. If I she could have said nothing. She could have thought it and said, My mom is stupid, what does ten til even mean? And all my all my life I've told the time like that. Like it's a quarter till. You know, it's ten after. I mean I talk like that and I I've never thought why do I talk like this? we don't say t we don't tell time like that in in any in Iran. I've lived in Japan, they don't take tell time like that in Japan. ⁓ ⁓ if I could think about every conversation between two humans and one of them could be my children, is actually an attempt for connection. And not criticism? And it's just really a simple question. Why do I tell time like that? Where no one else in her community, like you said, different languages, no one in her grade level, no one of her friends would tell time like that. a lot of checking in and allowing Pazir-ish really comes down ⁓ Before we can allow a thought, we can accept something, what is a helpful thought? So for me, acceptance that setting, welcoming in that setting, is the that she opened her mouth in this elevator, ⁓ I could welcomed it that she's making attempt for connection. So before I can welcome anything, I need to sort of sort out the thoughts that are being thrown in my head and you know Go through it and say which one is a helpful thought? So I can accept a helpful thought. Because the other thought is I can't do nothing right. Do I want to accept that thought?

Dr. Wendy: I hear getting curious behind all this, like receiving your daughter's curiosity and then getting curious yourself. Why I do these things? ⁓ Well the judgment? Like, ⁓ I have no idea. Wow.

Dr. Faryal: Absolutely, because you could have the context of you could have asked me that. Fagal, why do you tell time like that? And I would have never, it wouldn't set me into, ⁓ my gosh, I do nothing wrong. I'm like, yeah, that is curious. Why do I tell the time like that? And you asking me, because our context is you're simply curious. There's no story attached with you asking me. Then I can be curious as well. But I think when the emotions are high in parenting, in context of what's going on between two human beings relationship is curiosity doesn't always it's not always available. But if you can tap into curiosity, you can let go of stories, judgment, versions in all different ways. You're absolutely right.

Dr. Wendy: You we've got the same language here. Which is mind-blowing, okay, to this Pennsylvania Dutch girl who's like maybe I lived a short period of time in Japan, but I will not speak Japanese. not well, at least. Okay. ⁓ I could at least say komenasai and like some so somi masen, sumi masen. That ⁓ so me saying I'm so sorry anytime ⁓ We would like tread on someone's foot or we'd spill something as I was going around in Japan with little people making a mess. So those were the words that I'd learned. farsi, yeah, no. Passi rash. There you go. That's what I got. And here we are speaking the language of curiosity and connection. And ⁓ gosh, like it's beautiful because. ⁓ These are concepts that are becoming more and more real we're exploring different languages, but also just, you know, with our kids, ⁓ of course are speaking a completely different language. Yeah. So now know it's the beginning of your day. Like what I I don't even think it's 8 a.m. where you are. I mean, this is blowing my mind right now. ⁓ So know you have a beautiful day ahead of you. I want to honor that. And really thank you for joining me here. I I'm wondering if there is something that you would want to share, like, you know, I've got a community of parents who are really doing their hardest to be able to stronger relationships with kids. And I'm just wondering if there's like ⁓ one that you would want to share from your experience. ⁓ What it be?

Dr. Faryal: Yeah, thanks for asking that question. So I have this, and again, I'm weaving in palliative care into this. there is this ⁓ tool I teach my residents, ⁓ and I this tool works with everybody and it's you know, if a surgeon's vessel ⁓ is scaffold us is our words. How we ⁓ talk to people, can we meet people where they are? And how can we people feel heard because that's when they can open up and also process what we're saying. ⁓ there's this teaching that I share with residents. I think you can use it in parenting. ⁓ it's called wish, worry, wonder. And that I said this, I I did a whole podcast on it, but I ⁓ I wanna share it I think it's a great one. ⁓ And the statement ⁓ is intended to align you with the patient or child. And worry is your concern ⁓ and prognosis, very well could be your concern and prognosis ⁓ of the or child. And then wonder your gentle recommendation. so ⁓ I'm gonna it in of parenting. And you'll see what I mean. So let's say the new Spider-Man ⁓ movie is coming out, which is coming out. And say your child really wants to see it. And at same time there is a big let's say orchestra piece and my daughter plays cello, so I'm just using experience in my life that may be relatable to someone. for you could be soccer, could be baseball, whatever it is. ⁓ And so the kid says, Mom, can we just can I I wanna go see Spider Man this weekend? And you know it's not just Spider Man this weekend, it's leading up to it, how long it's gonna take. It's really takes a whole day or ⁓ evening out for a kid's life. And then the next morning they have to sleep in for an extra two hours because they were out late. So I'm just using you that probably is not the best use of their time this particular weekend. ⁓ instead of saying, No, what are you doing, don't you have a big, you know, ⁓ to practice which is not what they wanna do, use a wish worry wonder statement and it would be something like this. You know, I really wish that ⁓ could go see or or you. You could say we because if you have a relationship that you enjoy going to these movies with your kids still or if they don't want you they don't want to be seen with ⁓ anywhere the theater, that's you. ⁓ But could say I wish we could go to the theater this weekend And worry ⁓ you say wish I'm already aligning myself with them because they also wish to go. I worry if we spend four or five hours or you spend four or five hours at the theater, ⁓ that's sort gonna take away from your whole weekend ⁓ night and next day, which again, a little bit they may worry, and that won't give you enough time to practice for your peace, right? Again, I'm just worrying. I'm not telling you what to do. I worry that if you make this choice, it may sort of take you elsewhere. I wonder ⁓ ⁓ should or you should ⁓ on this piece that you're practicing and then trying to go see Spider-Man the day after the concert. So you do this, the wish, worry, wonder, you're not saying no to your child. You are letting them know that you understand it's fun. You also want them to do it. There's some concerns that you may have, which they also have. And you saying I worry takes the blame on you because it's your problem. I worry that if you do this, you won't have enough time. Where they also may worry a little bit in the back of their mind. And wonder gives them option B. Now at the end of wish worry wonder if the kids are older, they're like, No, I don't care, I want to go. I I wanna honor that that we have kids and if the apple doesn't fall very far from the tree and we are very ⁓ determined human beings, we've created copies. so there's a possibility that that doesn't go anywhere. But this way it's not a tug of war. It's coming from concern and in curiosity. And I think that's what you're teaching.

Dr. Wendy: Yeah.

Dr. Faryal: How can we create connection from a place of curiosity? How can we let go of judgment? Allowing acceptance, all of that. So this wish-worry wonder is a beautiful way that you can hear them out, give other options, and still slide in what your concerns are without acting or sounding judgy and inflexible.

Dr. Wendy: Hmm. I heard the word allyship in there as far as like being on the same team with your child. You know, I want yeah I I wish we could do this together. wonder and I hear in the wonder ⁓ ⁓ know, kind of being able to share your perspective without telling them this is the way I think. Because as soon as we do that, yeah, of course the apple does not fall far from the tree. My kids are like, er ⁓ don't care. ⁓ But I wonder is again kinda like opening up that door to be able to ⁓ just receive, but to also share. To reach out. This is what I'm seeing. And my gosh, like I'm just seeing how that's ⁓ again creating the opportunity to be on the same team with your to be able to co create. ⁓ my gosh, it's beautiful, beautiful.

Dr. Faryal: Yeah, 'cause I think, you know, I think the kids, even though they don't want our opinion, they get older, they still realize we're the parent and we want what's good for them. They may not want what we want for them. ⁓ I think what I like about this kind of conversation tool parenting is that you let what you think. ⁓ And at end of the day, they're gonna make their own decisions. ⁓ But I the problem becomes when you don't wanna say anything to your kid. And you start by they don't listen to me anyway. What's the point of me? The w the moment when we stop talking when we feel like our advice is unneeded or it's not gonna land, and maybe we question how we're giving this advice.

Dr. Wendy: Yeah. I realized as I was processing through all of that, I got it messed up already. I was like, ⁓ I said worry or I said wonder instead of worry. I'm gonna keep on practicing. ⁓ my gosh. thank you so much. Now for those parents that are listening right now, they're like, my gosh, I need more Faryal. Wh where can they find you? ⁓ my goodness, could you please share?

Dr. Faryal: Yeah, so ⁓ speaking of living intentionally, so I have a podcast. I started the podcast I think in twenty twenty at around the time of COVID and I was so good. I was recording once a week and then you know my own parenting journey hit a bump and everything went on back burner. You I had a physician retreat in Hawaii where you came and shared that story with. I held that retreat three years in a row. And then pivoting and focusing on my life, I have a lot less presence, whether it's on social media, ⁓ whether it's on my podcast. So I think the last time I recorded my podcast is probably about I wanna say two years ago, but the podcast is still alive. I'm paying someone to keep it going. And it used to be called ⁓ your last And it was within the context of palliative care, teaching people. But within context of palliative care, there's a lot of ⁓ everyday examples like this where it applies to living, not necessarily dying. ⁓ now I think it's called Living Your Best Chapter. ⁓ so you could just look Google it. I think it's on Apple and there's I don't know a hundred and twenty episodes that are there. eventually once my last child head to college, ⁓ I have intention to come back and be ⁓ present for creating for the world, ⁓ whether it's content or advice, but I feel like moving on immediately I like to be present for, you know, my own little ⁓ unit of family. that's where I am. ⁓ I have a you know, social presence, which as you mentioned, I travel. So ⁓ if you're following you're probably just seeing where I'm headed. ⁓ not a lot of conversation there, but ⁓ I love community. reach out to me, ask me questions. ⁓ some people are losing their loved one or faced with a serious illness themselves. If you reach out to me, I try to be present for you and answer any question any way that I can. So yes, Dr. Faryal Micho. that's the handle on Instagram. ⁓ And if you're physician, it's in physicians living intentionally on on Facebook. And thank you so much, Wendy.

Dr. Wendy: I love this. I would just like to highlight one thing that I heard in that. The permission that you've given yourself to be able to say, This is what I choose to focus on right now. To be able to say this chapter, this time, I choose to focus here. By the way, somebody else is keeping the podcast alive. That's to what we go on. You get to choose what is most important to you where you want to focus. And I think that's really the highlight of everything that I mean this is this is why I adore you so very much you're living that out loud.

Dr. Faryal: I love that. And you know, I have to tell you, as I'm looking at you, your beautiful smile, I see your name and under your name it says family in focus. And just realize that me living intentionally in my life in this chapter ⁓ is and focus. For me, ⁓ living today, this chapter ⁓ is and focus. ⁓

Dr. Wendy: Mic drop. I love you so very much. ⁓ my gosh.

Dr. Faryal: I love you too. Thank you for this conversation. Always a treat.

Dr. Wendy: thank you, Faryal for and joining us here today. Now I'd like to remind everybody, okay, first of while Dr. Michaud and I Are both physicians. We are most definitely not your physician, okay? so we're just having the time of our lives. None of this is medical advice whatsoever. Keep that wonderful ⁓ you have with your physician and ⁓ the way, tell them that we said hi. So ⁓ and of course, let's not forget that you get to take what fits from here. I have a sneaky feeling there's gonna be a lot that you may see that fits in your life. ⁓ Leave the rest and be gentle as you create the change that you want to see in your life for your family. Much love.