Should We Be Talking About Other People’s Bodies?

Wendy Schofer, MD: I want to talk frankly and openly this week about a topic that you may already be talking about in your home. Basically, should we be talking about other bodies? And if you find yourself answering that question away and saying no, you might be facing a lot of questions right when you're hearing about ⁓ celebrities. Celebrities who have Bodies that are changing in all sorts of different ways, and bodies that are front and center in images and videos and social media, you're like, hey, what's happening here? So ⁓ let's just take it back a moment. So distinctly remember back ⁓ in the 2020 type range ⁓ where there was a of focus ⁓ on one particular celebrity's body, that was Lizzo. ⁓ there was a lot of comments about Lizzo her body and the ⁓ of the messaging was, well, we're concerned about her health based on her body size. And was a lot of pushback appropriately because ⁓ behind comments, it was really, you know, kind of saying concerned about her health, ⁓ but was really saying, we don't that her body size ⁓ is healthy. Not necessarily just for her, but in general. It was in a way really weight stigma. It was fat shaming saying we're concerned about her. Now, fast forward to today, in 2026, now have weight loss medications that are everywhere. We see bodies that are changing right in front of our eyes. ⁓ there's a lot of that questioning: do we say something, do we not? But really bring this to a very specific example ⁓ that's in the news all the time, and that's Ariana Grande. And ⁓ While it's something that I am mentioning specific names, it's because of the specific conversations that we're having right now. So Ariana Grande has changed. She has changed over time. Her body has changed. She is much slimmer, much skinnier than she was years ago. there have been concerns ⁓

Dr. Wendy: ⁓ Welcome to Family in Focus. I'm Dr. Wendy Schofer, the pediatrician helping parents lead meaningful change without harm. Here we focus on the connection and practical shifts help families thrive at every size. Let's get started.

Wendy Schofer, MD: The past several years that have been raised about hey, what's going on? Is she healthy? Is there something else going on? And specifically, is there an eating disorder that's simmering underneath the surface? And I know that I've also heard people asking, you know, is she taking weight loss medications? All the different questions. But here's the thing: there's a lot of people that are like, hey. Don't be talking about her body. Just like you're not supposed to be talking about those in larger bodies, you shouldn't be talking about those are in smaller bodies. And what I want to really highlight right now is that there is a really big difference ⁓ what was happening with focusing on larger bodies ⁓ saying, I'm concerned about their health, ⁓ now focusing in particular in the case of Ariana Grande ⁓ her and being concerned about. about her health so let's break down a couple of things like why do you ⁓ perhaps feel stuck in like do I talk about bodies do I not ⁓ how do I talk it when my kids are bringing it up so first of all ⁓ so much compassion like always looking for the right way ⁓ the right way to communicate right way to talk about health about bodies about food ⁓ And so that is just our brains looking for very black and white answers. We want to know what's the right way and what to avoid. so, of course, you're kind of going through this ⁓ right now where you're looking for a right answer and there's no 100% right answer. The thing is that it may feel kind of like a little bit of a rubber band, like getting stretched too much and kind of pulling back And that happens our culture. as well, especially as we're working through how we are shifting over time, communicating about bodies. And then the other part that we really need to talk about is that this is happening right now while everyone is talking about weight loss, about weight loss medications. if we aren't attuned, if we aren't aware that eating disorders can be hiding in plain sight ⁓ in front of us, we never detect it. And so ⁓ Constantly telling ourselves that we will not talk about bodies is actually the very secrecy that eating disorders hide behind. So it is really actually important for us to notice patterns, to notice what's changing. Not about just coming in and saying that there's a right body type or not, but by noticing the patterns of change, because that is what is so very important. There is no one body size or weight or shape that means you're healthy or not. ⁓ means a lot. If there's dramatic increases, dramatic decreases, it's the pattern, it's the trend that gives us so much more information. Now, I had actually recorded this a week ago, and since ⁓ I have seen the newest ⁓ video that Ariana Grande put out. And it is graphic, it is quite remarkable. I'm not even going to be referring otherwise to the title or the specifics, but I will say that it's very graphic. it is something that ⁓ ⁓ concerning as ⁓ as. Shining a light that there's a lot that she's going through right now, a lot of how she is trying to really get people to stop focusing on her, and yet what she is putting out into the world is unfortunately bringing more focus to her. The focus There's a lot of concern for her health. There's a lot of concern for how is she doing? And it's not based off of the number on the scale. It's based off of seeing a human who is dramatically changing in front of our eyes one who desperately wants us to ⁓ talk about that. Parents? This is something that I am not trying to diagnose her whatsoever. And yet this secrecy is something that is very concerning about there being something much bigger going on, something much deeper going on. And so in your home, as you're seeing your children, if you're hearing a lot of pushback, a lot of like don't talk about that. Those are actually the moments to take that pause, be able to start really leaning in and listening, looking for the patterns, what's being said, what's not being said. These are the tools that we use throughout Family and Focus. ⁓ I will offer, it's also what you're using right now as you're receiving from children, like, hey, you know, there's all this going on in the media about what bodies should we be talking about or not talking about. Receive that information. Look at the patterns. Discuss with your children. What is it that you're noticing? What is it that you're hearing? What are you not hearing? These are actually opportunities for us to be able to create connection within our own families by just saying, you know what, there's no right answer. yet your brain is doing something right now. Your brain is saying, hey, there's ⁓ dramatic change. There's something that's happening here. I wonder. what's going on. So in my mind, it's very simple that there's a dramatic difference between, you know, the conversations that were being had about Lizzo's body way back when, in the sense that people were saying, I'm concerned about her health. They were actually just saying, you know what, she needs to look or be different. And that is really a disservice for anyone. Who's living in a larger body? now it's not something where folks are saying, hey, Ariana Grande needs to look differently. It's that ⁓ does look different. What else is going on? What help does she need? And that is a dramatic difference. Now, you're looking for the right ways to be able to talk ⁓ at about bodies, having these conversations when your kids are asking. I'm gonna tell you the first thing that you're doing right now is just by saying, hey, let's just take a moment. Let's start getting curious. Let's start looking at the patterns and quite honestly listening to your children more than anything else. You know I love those words. Tell me more. magic words that just give you an opportunity to let them know you're listening ⁓ to continue to receive more from their experience. If you want some more help with having these conversations, with honestly figuring out your own relationship with your ⁓ body, with your food, and of course with your family, please, that is what Family and Focus is built all around. So come on over to the website and you will learn so much more about Family and Focus and what we can continue to offer to be of support to you and your family. remember. Just in case we haven't discussed this recently, while I am a doctor, I am most definitely not your doctor. and Focus and the podcast ⁓ ⁓ for educational purposes, ⁓ medical advice or treatment. So ⁓ your doctor, tell them that I said hello. Remember, take what fits, leave the rest, and be gentle with yourself as you continue to lead the change that you want to see for your whole family. I'll see you next time.