Perfectionism Is Keeping You Stuck

Wendy Schofer, MD: If you feel like you just cannot get started creating the changes that you want to see in your home, this episode is for you. I'm Dr. Wendy, founder of Family and Focus, and I would like to pull back a curtain on something to be able to share how I'm real, I'm right there with you. And not to be able to like, let's just wallow in the mud together, but to really be able to say this is a real concern that we have and Let's go through exactly why.

Dr. Wendy: Welcome to Family in Focus. I'm Dr. Wendy Schofer, the pediatrician helping parents lead meaningful change without harm. Here we focus on the connection and practical shifts that help families thrive at every size. Let's get started.

Wendy Schofer, MD: I'm gonna acknowledge right now, this is not a scripted episode. This is very real and it is something that I don't know exactly where this is gonna come out, other than saying, this is important for us to highlight right now. So behind the whole thing of wanting to get things started. Okay, to be able to think, you know what, today is the day, or I have the resources, the tools, the setup, whatever it is. It's perfectionism. It's thinking that we need to have things look a certain way, that we need the right tools to be able to finally say, I'm ready. So you have both preparation and perfectionism that are kind of like battling in the same sense, and it's keeping us in the same spot. It's leading to procrastination. It's leading to saying, you know what? I really had the best of intentions that I was going to eat different today. But you know what? Life just happened. Everything else happened so eff it. I'm just not going to be cooking that meal that I wanted today. I'm just going to be getting the takeout or raiding the chips in the pantry. Absolutely. And With that happening, we're just procrastinating, we're just pushing it off another day. And you know what happens again tomorrow? The same things, the same things. Life keeps lifeing. Why am I bringing this up right now? Because I'm doing the exact same thing within Family and Focus. I'm doing the exact same thing. I'm staying really busy doing all the things behind the scenes and then. Turning to my chippies and not the food that I really want to be eating, let's be honest. And I'm also not doing my podcasts, not getting out there and promoting the programs that I want because quite honestly, they aren't perfect yet. They're not ready. It's not what I want yet. And yet, that means that I don't get to share it with you. And so I'm taking a page out of my own improv training right now. And I'm going out there and failing. I'm noticing that a child is about to walk into my house right now, that a cat is coming up right now. Nothing is perfect. I'm gonna be interrupted. I'm gonna have a cat in my coffee. And how perfect is that? How real is it? So I'm challenging things right now. So hello, I'm on a podcast. Can you give me a moment? Yes, I just did that. And I also rolled out of bed. Pulled back my hair. I've got my cat tank top on. I don't have anything other than the microphone that my podcast producer will remind me that we at least need good audio if we're gonna record. And everything else, it's just being real. It's just being real because that's what I need to combat right now. I need to, well, it's not that I need to combat, it's what I need to be in order to address the perfectionism, the procrastination. Procrastination that comes from that and not creating the change, not being the change that I want to be and live and share in the world. I have this thing in the back of my mind that it's not just in the back of my mind, it it's a mantra that I'm tired of being the best kept secret. Ooh, ooh. That sounds a little bit big when I say that out loud, but it's very true. About Why it is so very important for me to record, to be here, to not think about how we need another voice of perfection and what it needs to look like, but to be able to connect with parents far and wide, to say, you know what, let's be real together. I'm here to be real with you. I mean, this is what family in focus is all about. Being real. Parents coming together in community. You are so not alone. You are so not alone with perfectionism, with procrastination, with comparing, and think it needs to look a certain way in order to get started to keep going, or your goal needs to look a certain way. That's real. That's just us being real. Real humans, just real people that. have a lot of messiness going on up here. So you're in good company. You're in very good company. And I appreciate being in very good company too, including with another child who just walked into my house right now. So with that being said, I want to go hang out with her. So I want to let you know right now, okay, that I'm challenging myself to create Changes to be able to like look at perfectionism squarely in the face and say, I see you, I know you, I know you very well. That page from improv that I'm taking is about, well, couple of things. Being real. I was taught that nobody wants to see the perfect character. They don't want to see the perfect nun. They don't want to see the perfect doctor. Why do we love House so much? Because he was so very imperfect. That's why we love that show. But we don't want to see perfection. We want to see real. That's what is connecting. Well, as parents, how important is that to remember? Our kids don't need perfection. They need us to be real. And the other page from improv that I'm taking is going out there and failing. So welcome to my cat-haired shirt. Roll that a bed. I smell like a hoagie. I mean, can we be honest? Right now, I need a shower. And if you don't know what it's like to smell like a hoagie, you need to go up to Pennsylvania Dutch country and get some amazing food, but also recognize that while you love the taste, you don't want to smell like that. And you get humor. So born this way. Thank you, Gaga, for saying that. And let's all embrace it. So If you want to learn more about family and focus and creating the changes that you want your entire family to share, come on over to the website and learn more. Now remember, believe it or not, hi honey. While I'm a doctor, I am not your doctor. This is for education, for discussion, for learning and growth. It is not medical advice. Keep your doctor. Tell them that I said hello. Much love. And I will see you ooh at the next episode. By the way, you need to go check this one out. Hmm. Yeah.